I want to vote on November 6, 2018.  I mean I REALLY want to vote on that day. But I won’t be in the town where I live to vote. I’ll be working and keeping the economy afloat.

So I decided I would contact my Board of Elections to find out how to obtain an Absentee Ballot.  When I called I had to go through recorded voice message after recorded voice message to finally discover that I had to go to either the US Post Office or a Public Library to get an Absentee Ballot application form.

So I did.  I went to big Post Office on West 23rd Street in Manhattan and asked the clerk for an application form. He pointed to a woman standing nearby and said, “She’s the election expert. See her.”

So I did.  She said that the Post Office had never received any Absentee Ballot applications.  But she did have Register to Vote applications.  No need for those. I’m already registered. I want to vote.  This nice lady suggested I go to the nearby Public Library and see if they have the application I need.

So I did. I walked two blocks over and asked the librarian for an Absentee Ballot application.  He said the person “in charge” of election materials was out to lunch but would return soon.  I waited…and waited…and waited. Finally the fellow I originally spoke with said he would go online and print an application form out for me.  Which he did.  I read through the form and saw the following right on top of the page….”This may be used if you are not going to be in your county on Election Day but in New York City.”

Well, I am going to be in New York City on Election Day so I thought to myself I’ll just vote in Manhattan.  But then I thought about it.  Why would a vote in New York City qualify for an election in my county which is 100 miles away?  This didn’t make sense. I thought I better call the Board of Elections.

So I did. I got a very nice lady on the phone. She was a seasoned election vet in my home county. I told her what the application said about New York City and she said…”That makes no sense.”  I said, “Right!”  So what should I do?

She said I should fill out the Absentee Ballot form and get it in the mail as soon as possible. The application envelope had to be postmarked by seven days before the election. This meant the application had to be in the hands of the Post Office and postmarked by Tuesday, October 30 — one day before my wedding anniversary on Halloween, October 31.  I had to fill out the application immediately.

So I did. I sat down in the library and completed the form. But then I had to find a postage stamp and an envelope to send everything out. This took another excursion. Who carries stamps with them?  I had to find a stationery store.

So I did. And I mailed out my application.  Now I wait and hope that the paperwork arrives at my home before Election Day so I can vote.  I want to vote. I REALLY, REALLY want to vote.

And I will.

True story.